Paradise Lost
by xX-Bloodyrazorblades666-Xx
Summary: my first crossover! Has MLP/yaoi/open mindedness so look out! don't say anything if u can't say anything nice!
1. Chapter 1

Paradise Lost by xX-Bloodyrazorblades666-Xx

Chapter One: This pastriee is get krae  
*frum viewpoint of dentie the demon killr*  
They call me Duntete the Demon Killer. I am 6 foot, 185 pounds, and am bi! I love Hot Topic, MCR, Good Choratleete, and edgy bands like Linkin Park! I h8 all posrs and preps, especially my bruther Virgil (or should I say VIRGIN :3) and I wil kill all of dem! I have black hair with red streaks, spiked up and so kawaii ^_^! I have a companies caled da "Dornte's Demn Killer Ink." We will help with anything doing with demons, preps, posers, and fake bitches! I met plenty of cute guys along da way, but there is a girl I have a crush on ^/^ (Like I wil tell u just yeti!)

I sat in my pimped out officde while waring a Black Veal Brides T-shirt, skinny jeans, and fishnet stockings (I like crossdressing if you don't like it than fuk u you intolerant bstard!) I wuz rocking out to my favorite band, Excape Da Fat, when my main mission guy, Carl Sagan, burst through my window on a motorcycle! WTF!?

"wow carl that is the third window I have had 2 replace dis week u r so gay why do you do this to be y u no use doorr that was you can stop being so gay like how you are shouldn't you be talking about socceer or somerhing like u always do?""

"Yo Dante they are some posr preps who don't know what da universe is so I nd you to come back and give them some drive by die! I will pay you 5,000000,34 dollars to take care of them! Remember, the universe is in space, DAILY SPACE KNOWDLGED!"

"K Carl" I said to him

I got into da Dantemoblic in order to get to the area where there were, I would have to cut through New York City, than Namek, than the Forbiideen Forest in ofer to get to where I needede to be, which ended up being somethigh called a PAX East (Sounds nerdy!)

While I was blaring da most epic musix (Brokencyde FTW)!, I almost hit a kittie on the way there (poor kit), and then I felt really really bad (mood sad!). I hope I could find some cut boys because all da girls recenseltly to me have been bitches and I was always like "wtf bitch y u cheat on m such a cracker" and they went "lol" **dumb bitches**

Maybe I would come back and see my old lover there at Hedwarts...

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter to:

So when I was done listening 2 Brokencydr, I realize I had finally made it to PAX East. All dese nerds, omg! Moustaches and glasses everywhere, so grody ewwwwwwww /! As I made my way to da predeterimned loication, all these fat sweaty nerds tried hitting on me!

I know I am a pice  
of meat boyz but u can't have me lol srry ^_^. I finally made it to a booth of something called "Rotsupurer", and two people below it named "Slowbiff" and "D-beetus". Man, they did totally sound like complete posrs!

"Yo yo yo this fucking cracker's LP sucks son, this is like true white boy shit, mang!" D-beetus yelled out loud. "I bet his mom didn't love him enough and I hope he dies in a car crash because he's so gay LOL" said Slowbiff.

"What, do you have a problem with gay people you stupdi butthead?!" I yelled at Slowbiff.

"HEIL HITLER" he yelled as he went super sayian Nazi 549 and flew at me with the intensity of a thousand MCR albums. I took out my sword I named "Deicide" (Because God is dum since he doesn't shop at hot topic so he deserves to die like all da posers) and stopped him with the tip of my sword (ew not that you pervert :( )

"Oh no not the legendary sword Dave" Slowbiff said as he was impaled throughput the face (it was a ugly face too lol!?) "Oh no how did yo cracka ass stop my waifu I must kill you now for the glory of all my black brothers and sisters" D-beetus said (He was white wtf is wrong with him). He broke out his AK-52 and began shooting at everyone (killing a lot of poswers thanks Di-betuis!) "He is not dead but you will be dead for trying to make him dead because I don't like it when people try to make people I like dead because being dead is totally the opposite of what I'd like them to be which is alive so dead is not a appropiate situation and ur really gay for trying to make him dead I mean wtf did he did to you you're such a price oh my god I'm crying this is like that episode of family guy modern warefare 2 whenre Peter says no russian oh my god ive been talking for too lon and now you must die because u almost kill my waifu slowbiff!"

He missed every shot and I had to take out my gun Suicune in order to shoot him in da knee (epic meme)

That stopped him and he said "Sorry for trying to kill you but you came at me first and that made me angry"

"I gotta take u guys in for being posers" I said

Slowbiff got up and said "We should listen to this lady/man it is epic win it stops powers with stan

D-bettus responded with ur sucka cracka but I luve u so in order to make defense for you I will give myself up and not be a poster anymore because that will keep you alive ilu bby.

With that, we all went back 2 my office 4 piza and sez

Lol u thought this was the end of the 2nd ch apter ur so gay. (I can say gay shut up I am bi ^/^^^MMMM)

We went back to da office and we all got dressed up and my niga Carl Sagan and I took the posrs out to get some real bitches and some real life drug's.

"So u see, most ladies hate posers like u, slowbiff and d-beetus" I said t them

"But cracker ass honkies love my big genitels" said D-beetus Well then u will be posterr forever d-beetus and there is nothing I can do about it?!" I said to him

"oh :( " he responded.

"j/k I still love u!" I said and then all of us and Carl Sagan laufed.

NOW END OF CHAPTER 2!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Gotta kil demon at sped of face

After our kawaii krew went and got bitches (and whores because that's how we b) We went bak home to my office so we could get missions from toher people. Carl had to go home so we said "By Carl" and he flew away on his wed-mobile. Slowbiff and D-beetus both looked at me and went "Durnte what do we do now, what we do now im bored really really bored you took away our only fun why did you do that now we have no point in existiance and dat makes us really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really

sad."

I then told them that everry1 in lyfe is special in life (Aside from prepz and possers who need to die), and then their faces went from DDDDDDDDDDDDDD: to :3 and that made me really really really really really really rewalles happy (but not too much happy because too much happy is so hagay LOL) So we decided to go to a rave but the rave was playing bands like Skrillex and that's bad so we left and went back home and had tongue touching ;/3 (AN: what the fuck). And then the phone rang and I picked it up and it was a motorcycle and then Crawl Sagan came through the window with a Mighty SMASH

"Carl wtf why don't you use a door oh my god I have to pay for this dorr so many times do you not undersatnd my bpain" and then Carl looked back at me and said "sry I 4got". "Anyways, you have an assignment at Hogwarts. Our target for asassination is a man named Naruto. He has trying to practice in the Dark Arts, under the tutelage of a man named Severus Snape. He seems to be quite unpredictable and also quite err-

NARUOTO. MY EX BOYFRIEND. DAT BASTARD WUZ SO HOT BUT HE ALSO BRKE MY HEART .. When we were making love one night I saw that he had a tatto that said "I 3 scauzke" and I pushed him off and I say nargurto wtf" lol I dont love you said John Madden- I mean Naruto

it still hurtz so much ;_;

I was pissed so much this time around, I decidedded to cut myself usign my other sword Stan and fly there through the power of blood and anger! I would kik Natruos ass so hard because the bastard still isn't sorry for the endless torment and hell he has put through my mentally. His sins have become unexplainable and unforgivable. Humans like him are complete wastes of the evolutionary process. Pests that need to be eradicated, wiped off the face of the earth. THAT DUMB FUKLER! Carl came after me and said "ironicus" and then I was frozen in midair and then he said "The codename is Zelda is a girl" (That will piss the off because Zelda is obv the main character of Halo sexist pigs omg) And for a second there, When I looked into Carl's eyes, I heard Iron Maiden playing but iron maiden is gay and for old people and who likes old people that's right nooonnenneNN! I said "thx carl and then I flew off into Hedwig."

As soon as I saw that bastard I tackeled his sorry ass and started beating him up in front of the catleds! Naruto didn't realize it was me but he was all like "oh my I am getting mauled help" and noone came to his help I think because he was wearing an American Eagle polo and those stupid kakis!

As I went fro his face I realize it wasn't him but actually one of this cloens made by his Kashi George Busgh No Jetsu!~!

END OF CHAPTER 3


	4. Chapter 4: ur a wizard Naruto

Chapter 4: ur a wizard Naruto

I mean Geroge Bush is a hot piece of as but I wasn't looking for him I was looking for my ex boyfriend Nartuo so I asked his clone where he could be and he was all like "Well I don't know but the democrats are ruining this Christian Nation" And I was all like "Fuk you you just don't get it it because you're old and you don't get laid lol PWNT" and then he blew up. After I was done with his poser assssssssssassss, I went around looking for that backstabin bastard. All dese hotties wanting a piece of this Dante but I don't wanan "fuk u!" I dnt get why these wizards think it is a good idea to have beerds because it just makes them look like pedophils and that is rly rely gross I mean who wants to look like a pedophile not me lol! I'm 2kawaii 4kids!

SO I went To the calls where they said NANRTUIUTO would b the one with the old guy named severus snapple (I drink Snapple because it's fruity like me!). WTF?! Where are the bathrooms in here? Where is the Hot Topic? Why are they all looking at me like I'm strange (I'm just stylin' in my lincoln piazrk tea-shirt and freash to= deaht kitl skirt *.*) And then Professor Mcgoogle or wahtever dat BITCHES name is comes up 2 me and is all like "yo biztch who you look fo cracker ass honky" and I smakc her and I'm just all like "First of all, madam, I am not a cracker ass honky. I am just looking for a man named Naruto. I have a score to settle with him. Do you think you could point me to the his general direction?

"FUCK YOU ASSHOLE" she responded to me and then hit me with a Kamhemahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahjahahhauioFHAADSDGSGHI O FUS RO DAH XDDDDDD

"ow I said" and then I hit with my sword Stan and she was all like "why is there blood on this" and I was like "because it resembles my pain and hurt!" and then she died (?) I fnd out that the door behind da bitch was the one I was looking for and then I kick it open with my SPAZ-12 named Carlito and yell "nairguot I have found out you location and you die yes"

"Bby don't hurt me don't hurt me no more plz" he said.

"You bastard, you will pay for the torment you put me into, you motherfucker. I will make sure that the offspring of your wretched bloodline will experience the suffering I give unto you 10,000 fold. I will make sure that your legacy is filled with nothing but agony, hatred, and pain. I will make it so happiness itself will make you suffer, you shit sucking little pig. You have broken my heart and crossed me. And believe me, I am not a person you want to cross, ever. Now bend over and take what's coming to you. It's too late to cry... too late to cry to Mommy. Time to take your medicine."

"IS THAT A MEME" professer snapie yelled at the top of lungs "lol memes are gay, unless they are brony memes because that is epuic win" "Oh wait I am stuppoed to stop you from harming nartuo" and then he attacked me using Solar Flare from the top 20 anime The Magic School Bus.

And then everything chaged when my foot attracked his face!

"ow" he said, and then blew up like in yu-gi-oh (monstahs real monstas xd). Naruto was all like "oh fuk o no I am dead? and said "invoko gunus" and then pulled out a MAC-10 submachine gun but little did he realize I have a shielf against bullet! ^_^ (Plus, bullets don't attack hotties like me so) I inv oked the power of the gods of Black Veal Bridegle and Andy Beersack slapped him in da face with his kawaii peni and then Naturuo was all like "oh no I am sorry plz don't kill me" and then I said "There ain't no rest for da true kawaii" and killed him there on the spot, Everyone calpped becfause he was dum and gay (NOT THE GOOD KIND OF GAY)

end of chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5: sponegbob end of era

Chapter 5: Spongebob: da end of an era

As we flew home from hedgewort's I had a bunch of pain in my heard becuz in all honesty I didnt want to kill Nagruto because he had become such a hottie... He was so cute and I was fneeling so kawaii dat day. Do kawaii kill people? No, kawaii Is not supposed to kill people 3: However, John Masterson from the top MTV music video Red Spread Reception had to kill dog ebcause it was stealking his kawaii factor and John is supposed to be the most kawaii (But I am tda most kawaii fruity flirty little cutie so I guess I have to kill him now?!(!)!)!) Anyways bak 2 da story because this is all gay cowboy stuff and noone wants to here about gay cowboys because they aren't cute at all are they... So as Karl Sechan and I were flying bak to my office and I look to Cark and I am like "Is there no way we can save these poor souls from their own self created damnation?" And he looked and me and he said "You can save the sinner from a sin, but not if the sin has consumed the sinner." I l00ked him in da eyes and I said "lol Carz ur gay" and smacked his hot sweet ass (I knew he had feelsing for me and wanted my sword if you caTCH MY DRIFT U SILLY KIDZ ;))))))))))))))) )... Carl Seaworld bushed and said "baka not here dat is naughty &/*" And I looked at him and said "We have 2 keep our lobe secret or the cops will find us and arrest us for being different (dat scares the cop so much!)

As we got home, Carl said to me "We cannot speak of this. My wife loves me too much. And if she finds out, she will kill my endgame device. A character named "Spongebob Squarepants." A being meant only to cleanse the world of the ignorant and impure. To crush the non-believers beneath the weight of their own overwhelming failure.-

YOU MEAN LIKE PREPS AND POSWERS!? " I responded

"lol ye" mr Sexgan said. "Anyways I gotta go home and get drunk with my son so we can get some fine bitches because my wife isn't sex me and that makes me sad the **dumb bithc**!" Carl said with sad on his face. He then flew away on his sepcial Nimbus 30,000 version 2.0!

"fuk I am lonely now" I said in my office with da shattered window because it was cold.

I did actually realize how Carl left a book called the Spongenomincon (sounds like a p0rn0 LOL) on my decks, seems he 4got it. I flipped through it , it seemed really really really really gay because it was all in a language that I couldn't seem to understand (st00pid not English learn to speek Eng because it is da best langauge!)

"volvo laspichenter negro" I said

And then the sky turned black. The Earth started to shake, like a child left in the cold without a coat or a blanket. A puppy without a master to love. An addict without their fix. The screams the souls sacrificed to create this monstrosity enveloped me, damning me for bringing to light their true existence.

"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!?, YOU HAVE JUST ASSURED THE ERADICATION OF THE HUMAN RACE!" They all screamed in a tormented polyphony.

I cling onto the desk, in disbelief of my own idiocy. What have I done...

"G PLANKTON Y DO U WANTS KUSTY VRAB FORMLULE MR K1-RABS NO WANT YOU TO HAVE IT" I heard from a booming voice from da ski.  
And then BOOM "I got smacked in the face by a giant yellow arm (It looked like peni lol).

"Wtf am I actually getting hurt dis is so not fine da bitch will pay for harming my fine ass fac!" and den I cried because I have scars and only mean n gruff people like scars. Dem and Chris Hansen!

As I brushed off my fine all coat~ I got my big ass Kurt Angel hammer named Hulk Hogie (I have to use it against da big demon because swords only poke them! God read Twlighttyy!) And then I started up my Angel Button mode because this is trhe only time I had to do this because I did nto want him to hurt my freidns because he just wrecked da shit out of that piz Hutt right next to us and there is a 1 in 100000000 chance my friends could have been there and that is too much of a risK! (dat is da best meg-death album dave mustardf is gay and old tho!)

"DAILOYF*OAFHSFHISHIFHIFHISOFHI!" Said spoebob before he hit another building with his stupid bigass nose! As Salf and Peper would sayh "I would walk a thousand miels to exist night shakae my milkshakes brings boys to dat year with my fine ass gehtto b0tty"

AN: What the fuck did that just say

"I flew up to him using my inavder zim backpack that I borrow from my best friend Chap Cheezum (Chip's younger brother and noone payz attention to him!) and I sadi

"motherfuads is time for you to die because u are pozer and you are hurting my friends!" I then wenty super syian 549 Devil Trigger Mode and then summoed fox guy from nartuo and he was all like "hmm u need help and I was all yeah I need help can u plz heap me and he is all like I am kobi sure I will help!"

And then I tapped into my inner yaoi and becaame the most kawaii boi ever, holding a copy of "Boku No Nokia in my other hand with my hammer! Nothing could stop the kawaiik that was going to hit Sponebieb!

End of CHAPTER 5

WILL HE DEFEET SPONGEBOB

FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF DIGGSG{IMON


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
-OWNER OF THE COMPUTER-  
Ok so here's what's going on. I found this shit on my computer. I don't know what's going on, honestly. Don't expect me to explain it to you. I think it has something to do with Dante from Devil May Cry being a bisexual weeaboo "Poser Killer". I don't get it either. First thing I saw was that this monstrosity apparently just released...Spongebob from his eternal sleep. Let that sink in. SPONGEBOB. Who thinks that shit up? I mean really. I was half expecting Squidward's house to come out of the sky and fight Spongebob for the fate of the world. It would make more sense than a clear ripoff of the Evil Dead (I mean come on, the Spongenomicon? At least try harder to hide your influences, you idiot.

I'm not an expert on Mr. Sagan's work, but I doubt he was spritual in the case of beleving in a ritualistic, cult-like sacrifice in order to bring to this world a giant, destructive version of a late 1990's children cartoon character. That... really doesn't seem like him at all. Wasn't he... not even alive when Spongebob was around? Was he brought around by some sort of cult function himself? Why is his English so broken? Who the fuck are"D-beetus" and "Slowbiff"? Why is this person pushing their sexuality like it's something new? I see kids like this all the time at the malls and shit. Sure, a person is a person, but honey (I'm going off the name here, I don't know what the actual gender of this thing would be), You're not all that special, I'm sorry. I'm not here to stop this, but... I just wonder what goes through a person's head that allows this to type this shit. It just... it eludes me.

Here's the actual chapter 6 though, I just needed to get that out. This has been the single most confusing thing I have probably ever read, but I'd be damned if I didn't have fun reading it.

Chapter 6- A specal guest!

AN: If ur not a poster, you'll figure out who this special gust is! Clue: It's a gurl!^_^

So I flew up to spongebnob's face and punched him with my "supa kawaii punch"! Sponegbob went "oh no I can't handle the kawaii" and blew up and became a sponge again because that's what is supposed to happen god everyone knoes sponges can't talk god didnt your mother love u enough?!

"I did it now I gotta find the seven dragon balls in order to return the city in order back to norml!"

then I realized I had the seven dragonballs in my MLP themed closest and I was all like "oh tat's where they are o ok then" and then I opened the door and grabbed the balls and the balls were all like "ow" but the dragonballs can't stop you stupid fucking perverte! I put the balls on the desk and then She-ron showed up (It was shenrons cross dressing visual kei band leading brother) and he was all like "hey gurl what do u want " and I was all like "I am not a girl I am just bi u judgmental asshole" and then She-ron was all " :( I'm sorry bby) and I was all "lol it's K you need to call me more on my phone I get lonely and bored and u makde me laugh all da time" and then She-ron bushed like dis [/].

ok enough of dat gay shiz so I went up to him and I was all like "hbey I need u to repair the damage that spongebob did to the cit"y and She-ron looked around and this was worst than the damage that guys who says huzzah did to this city (niga that's obv disaseed crab) and he said it with sad face.

"I don't like making u sad She-ron but I need to point out when U r being a poswer so that you know not to be a postr! :3 iluv bby" I sed to him.

:3 he said and flipped his pretty hair and giggled. (If he wasn't a dragon I would so go out with him omg!)

I mean really who would date a dragon? There would be way too much scaling to get used to it! (LOL I MADE A JOKE DID YOU GUYS CATCH IT I HOPE YOU DID!)

She-ron then went "lol, K' and then everything was fixed like nothing happened

(EVEN MY WINDOW WAS FIXED)

And then Carl Sagan came through the window again (on a cow dis time) and said in a glee voice

"I got a new mission 4 u!"

wtf carl why do you no use door omg "I said to him"

"You will remember dis person, she is a good friend of u"-He responded. "She is a gurl that will help you go against posers"

Her name was... "Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way!

-END OF CHAPTER 6- (AN: Get ready 4 kawaii!)


	7. Chapter 7

Chapeter 7: Oh my god gurl you are fine

Pssssssssssssssst... I can tell you something now that You probably wouldn't suspect because it's 2secret 4 u. I have a crush on dis Enoby chik. Had a crush on her for years. I love how she h8s posers and slices herself with da steakes in the bathtub all nakies and shit ~w~ it was always so kawaii

I was going to axe her out but than the big gay fatmonger Harry Potter asked her out and they tried to have sex many times and I thought "wow she is a **BTCH** SO MUCH SO OMG " but then the other side of me was all like "look at dat girl's botty how can you deny it" and I kind of went like "omg I no right it's so sexy and dat boot is all like "pow girl" and I just blush because it is so the tr00th omg!

So I tell Carl that "Ok I will take mission to help her" and then he told me I needed to go to a hot nd sex rave because she is now a poser kilr for hire and she might actually need someone like me with some sort of experience... Tee hee ;3

So we fly away on da Carlmobile to new adventure for the death of posters everywhere. We end up on this planet called Omega (wtf this isn't Urth). Apparently at dis club called Purgatory is where she was shaking her fine ass ghetto botty `w`. I couldn't w8! So I go into the club, and I realize there's all these things that aren't huumans or demons walking around. I think people refer to them as "allens". Do I look like I would no god!

The allen was dropping some fat beats by Skrillex doing a remix of 'Yesterday" by da Betles "Wow listen to this old people's music I feel like I am getting older by the second! Omg"  
"Yo u stupid kid, take dat back, this is the classics, I love the Beaters" this ugly ass blue alien said to me as he was walking towards me. "Who da fuk r u" Carly said to da alien before he was slapped with a white glove

"bitch im garrus"- the blue alien siad to me

"GARRUS MORE LIKE ANUS LOL"- I yelled at him. Suddenly I was pinned to the group by my smexy face by a bigass calw to da ground

"Fucker say that to my face not online and see what happens" Garoos said 2 me

"ow can u let me go now?" "k" he said and then I walked by something caleld an elcor which looked like a deformend element ewwwwwwwww

"I am looking 4 Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way have u seen her?" "Well dug I am her bodyguard?" Garkus responded with fun laugh of happy. I will take u to her if you can beat me in a game of Hollywood Squares with my good friend BillyMC!'

"Hello I am BillyMC-" **gets shot by a big stoopid jelyfish***  
"ok never mind I will take u 2 her. She won't shut up about u either, omg, I was almost tempted to go across space and find u just so she would shut up about how sex u r ^/&^" "Although I could c y" He said while lick lips (;3) "Das kawaii but I xpect to be taken by the end of 2night so I am sry bby maybe you can hang out with dat comander shoparde guy he seems to be pretty damn col and u guys would seem to get along I bet!"

Garrus and I then decided to have a couple drinks when I spoted her from across da bar. She was wearing a slipnot poncho and a short skirt dat said "kiss me I'm Irish" on it and I was all like "omg that's so fuking hot" and I decided 2 make my move while Carl was making out with an Asari (He likes dems blue bitches %_%) "Hey bby omg remember me" "omg dunkte it's u I missed you so much!" She then grabbed me and huged me so hard and then I got a bonner "Hey bby I think one I think I want to go Trickster Style on dat azz once more ;#" I sed 2 her

"Oh bby ur so alfa az fuck and dat makes me so honry!" she said to me with many sex in her voice ready for the penis insertion intercourse

So we went to the ALIEN BATHROOM FOR THE FUCK SEX TIME

I TOOK OF HER SKIRT AND SHE TOOK OF MY PANTS AND SHE PUT HER MOUTH ON MY DING DONG AND I WAS ALL LIKE oh bBABY THAT FEELS SO GOOD AND SHE WA SALL

I HAVEN'T FORGOT HOW 2 PLEASE MY MAN! AND THEN SHE RUBBED HER AZ ON MY DINGLE AND I HAD MANY PLEASURE IN MY LOWER AREA "OH BBY DONT STOP!" I YELLED AT TOP OF LUNG THAT CAUSE AN ELCOR TO COME INTRO THE BATHROOM AND YELL YO YOU STUPID AZZ CRACKERS STOP HAVING SEX AND THEN SHE SHOT HIM WITH HER BLOOD AND HE FELL TO THE GROUD SCREAMING IN AGONY WHILE WE HAD HOT THINGY NEAR HIS BODY

I TOOK MY THINGYMA BOB AND PUT IT IN HER P-HOLE AND SHE BLUSHED AND GROANING LIKE ONE OF THOSE PRONOS BUT I DONT WANT PORNO BECAUSE PORNO GIRL NAZYT LIKE NAZZY FROM DOUBLE D AND THE BIG BLOO HAUS AND THEN I BEGAN TO THRUST AND THEN

Someone walked in to us having secks and was all like "what the fuck u doing" and it was actuallty Wrecks-it-Wrex from Max Effect fame and we we had to stop becfause punblic sex is a bitch gross (if you like it I don't judge u though) I had 2 go back to Gartus because I need to ask him to join my tem neways


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Arrow to the Knee Deep in the Dead (LOL REFERENCES)

So fter I took Garis out for da recuritment procedure (He has 2 kill 100 members of the organization P.R.E.P -Preps for the Eradication of Epic People-) with his bear hands, he will be put into my team as a low level grunt, doing things like getting us pizza to et and girls to have sez with, because I don't wanna get my hands dirte anymore because that is gross and not meant 4 people like me (they are 2 buzy knowing how to please da bitches ;3). Garrut at first was all like "lol that's kinda gay but I guess I can help until I prove myself by going after 200 more so I can get a 5 dollar off coupon at Hot Tepig!" (u can get a really cute bullet blt for 20 bucks there at Hot Topic so it is actually quite useful ohmaerhgoerd!) "K Garrit have fun it's kind of hard, remember, it took me 69 days (lol) to do it!~!~~~!~!~!~~!~!~~! "lol k calibrations l0l" he said before he ran off into the nearest Amerikan Egale in order to start his crewsadie of destroying da prepz and posters. Cart Sagen was just all like "lookat him go, he's like a child to me oh my fucking god he's so kawaii ^_^!" "I no right Carl?!" I sed. "Oh by the way there was something left on our doorstep at the other place where we kill dfeons and stuff I think it's called "Dave may cut" or something, I don't know" "lol k we should maybe figure out what it is because it may be misterious and I don't know what it is and it makes me really really reall really scared."

"lol maybe it should be evil aliens that will kill us all and we are all... DOOMED LOL!"- Me 2013! :3

So, after Garrus was done doing the work of da lord, we all went back home to pick up da pakage. We went to the door, but da package wasn't there anymore? "omg who da fuck would steel our package dat's so gay!" Garrus sed with voice of much anger and :(. "Lol u dumfuk crackers the package is here uh DUH LOL" said D-beetus while slowbiff was near him licking his earlobe and groaning all like a stupid bitch (wow dis is 2 gay4me omg!) "Slawbeef plz stop you're a terrible person" D-Beetus whined in agony while also on fire (wtf?) He then drop the package and we opened it up. It ended up being a petagram! "Omg this is the devil's sign thingy and the thingy that that slater band uses and my mother told me it was evil so that's why I like it so much because I hate my mom because she is stupid and old and gay and won't let me go to the MCR concrrt with my BFF Crotos (who is also very very very very very kawaii). I den took it to hang it up on my wall in order for the building itself to drive away da poswers even more and to bring forward the people I wanted to bring in (da kawaii people thaT Give me money because I can kill demons and they need me \w\/w/\w/! "Omg De-bets and slowbeef and Karl and Garus and Sheonron and Pat Sajak get in here dis is so fukin cool!" I yelled with lung full of loud and happy speaking! "Dat penagram is all like pow gurl that's some fine azz shit my niga!" D-betus said because he cannot use the other n word because dat is racist and intolerant and I hate intolerant people and I would tell them to go die because they aren't like me the best perons ever duh obviouslyatyo! #YOLO. And den a big giant evil bald old looking head came out and was all "lol ur all fagots for putting dis on the wall now u go to hell and have to fight the demons to get back to your house! LOL PWNED BITCHES". And den we were all zapped through a portal thingy!

And then all then sudden there were all these gay bleeps and bloops coming out from nowhere and I was just all like "Wtf is this old music why are we here" and then we looked forward and I think this place looked like Hell but I am not sure because Hell doesn't exist I think? "So what do we do now guys this place looks really really gay" I said. "Lol yeah it does" Slowbeef said. "OH GOD LOOK OUT THERE IS A GUY WITH A GUN AND HES SHOOTING AT US HELP ME GARRUS WHERE IS YOUR GUN SHOT HIM!" D-betus yelled in fear "o whops I forgot my gun at home sorry LOL" Garrus sed to D-betus who was very very very very very :( and that make me D: because I had really grown clothes to him and shit and I did not want to c hime be all D: and not :3 And then Garrus walked up and said "I'm commender shepards and this is my favorite story on the the sitidenl and then he punchede shooting zombie man in the face and zombie man was all like "wtf that was my only face you are such a prick I hope you die and then come back so I can kill you for punching me in the face 3: and then Gratus punched him again which caused him todie which should have been the first thing that happened don't ask me why it didn't but it didn't happen im sorry my mother just came into the roomn and sai d" LOL zombvies can't die in one punch what r u gayadh!" and then gangham styled out of the room and throught da house omg wtf

ANYWAYS and then he looked at the dead zombie and he was all "I was once alive like u and then I toook a not being alive to the fibia lol thast is a video game joke to zombies even plan video games I don't know I can't go on google to find it out so I guess I will go to the next besty thing oh god is that a forever 21" and then Garus walked into a pit of green stuff and started to have his skin fall off LOL he's sscreaming so much omg I am crying I will put this up on twitter as "gauirs epic fail" "omg y u no help me I am dieing so hard right now tell my gf tali that she is a dumb bich and I bet u she was cheat on me entire time because I know h0w allens work they do nothing but chet and break hearts like the lasdy for the frair oddparentas"

and then he died buyt then he came back and the big demon guy was all like "u have 6 livez but b careful with dem because you have to finght the big bad demon in order the win ir freedom from dis hell (dat's a MCR lyrics I think). "I bet u the demo guy is probably Suiperroth because only he can be so evil! He stabbed a girl with a sword and the gril was all "dead" and then she died HOW COULD YOU KILL A PERSON OMG! "lol I dont know" said gars and then we walked along the rest of the level when someone yelled "look a flying tomato thing holy shit it is spitting balls at us help" (protip the guy yelled ended up being d-ebtus so there was a lot more yelling of da work "cracka and honeky asses"

"Steep back I got dis" I said and then I took my laso that I had bourhgt at wal-mart and have named "kelly" because I 3 Kely Carkson so much she is so pretty omg and I tried to rap it around da demon but it was all "yo niga I don't like dis shit this I squite undesrible you stupid dumbazz baka": and then I was all "oh fux it is speaking in words I don't know this will be a hard denemyu to beat because I can't undertsand it?!"

"hiss" it said and then I went pokemon trainer mode and I was all like "go brick" and I threw a brick at it and it was all "da fuck was that" and I yelled "go another brick and smacked him square in the head and he was all like wow ow that hurts I am in pain now" and it fell to the floor writhing in pain and then I was all "now I can be like as ketchum and get a pokmeion and call it my own!" and then I threw a pokemon ball at it and the ball went pshooooo and then I have giant tomato demon as friend but I can't look at it too much right now because it is too ugly,

"You should ame the demon "cake-o-demon" because it looks like cake but is not lie lol "no you're gay that is too mainsteam and then I remembered the name of the genere brokencyder was and I was all how about "crunk-o-demon because crunkcore is creat!" I will call him "crunk-o the Scenedemo and then we will go to hot topic and buy him scene hair and lil hghjon necklace so he looks da part it will be pretty fuking kawaii gurl!" I yelled with a megaphone into d-betuses' ear

"ow fuk I heard you b4 you ho" he said to me with anger

END OF CHAPTER 8


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: The Jersey Shores of Hell

So as we all went along with my new budy Crunk-o the Scenedemon we were still not sure where we were... hoenstly it seesmed like we were at a old ladies house because there were crosses all over da place (She probably put them upside down because she is old and old people don't know how to one directions LOL) "omg this is too much I thought this was hell not my grandma's house!" I sed while looking like this 3: because I was sad and yet kind of confused so I didn't know what to think I am srs!Grarus then said "Wow dis is pretty tam for being a hell place I thought there would be more death and dying and pain and having to wear preping clothing!

And den this pink thign chanrged at him and he was all like "wtf is this" and the thing looked like this :E and it was down on its knucjles like donk ong and I was all like "lol you're so gay that's not how you do it" and then it looked at me all :EEE and I was all "oh no dis pink thingis going to attack me and he doesn't look hapy! I THINK IT"S A PINKIE DEMON IS WHAT I AM GOING TO END UP CALLING IT YES BECAUSE IT IS PUINK AND THAT IS THE FIRST THING THAT GAME TO MY MIND. "I AM A BRONY AND I HAVE TO ASK WHERE IS THE CUTY MARK WHERE THE FUCK IS IT IT SHOLD BE PONE WHY IS IT NOT PONE" Professor Snapple said (WTF UR SUPPOSED TO BE DED) AND THEN I SHOT HIM BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN TO PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD GOD DAMMIT and then after that when we had time 4 tea and scones since he was ded, we focused bak on pink demo who was still malling Garrus pretty hardcore (o fuck those scars seem pretty harsh omg)

I then went into Demo Tigger mode and I got on my pgo stik (to show it a trick LOL) and it was all like "o no a man on a stick wtf I can't compete against them I am so fuking ded! I then jumped on his face and it went right through his brian! He was all like "hghngngngnnnnffsspspfffppttt tt" (That's the sound of brains dying on the ground you stupid noob omg) and then Gartus was all like "holy shit u saved me why did you do that we just met you shouldn't have done that bby you scrared me so much!" and I was all like " I never let the kawaii die, ever, we are legion LOL!" and then Garrus went :3 and we held hands as we got up (o\mg his hands are so scaly it was so weird holding his hands because of dat omg ^?/?^)! But I got past that, we all bruusehd ourselves off and started walking to a way and then the bald bitch showed up again and he was all like "u will never escape my hel buahahahhahahha I have made it dat way!" and I was all like "shut da fuck up and I threw my belt at him but he ended up being a hologram (!?) and then Crunk-o came out and said "Yo yo yo my dawg pak I think I can help u get out of heer I know this place pretty well because I am a demon so I should no right?!" and then I looked at him and I was all "omg your fat, so fat wtf why are you so round" and he just stared at me with eye and he wa sall like "shut the fuk up bich" and I mean he is big and fat and round so I didn't really try to argue with him because that would be pretty hahgay to try to do so because he is so fat he'd probably eat me (did I tell you he was fat!? I SHHOUDL TELL U AGHAINMM HE IS PHAT WITH A F)

And den as we were following his sexy floating ass, he started singing "i m no k" by one of my favorite abdnsa Stray of the Yore and I was all like 'omg u can sing and he was all" ya they majke us take gay ass Hell singing calsses and my parents mr and ms cacodemon were all like "you kids and ur heavye metal we will not have it in our house so I ran away (more like floated because he has no legs) and da night I ran away the school buly named Cy berdemon found mah parents and kileld them an d burnt their house down as revenge for me taking the gurl named Revenant away from him bc he was being a prick and abusive her by making her go to Mcdonalds and not get a Mcrib I mean who the fuck does that omgm.

"Oh my lord." D-betus and Slowbiff sad "That is so sad, dis cyberdemon sounds like a crazker azz fucker ong we should kik his azs!" sed De-betus~ "Believe me, I tried 2 do it before, but he iz just too powweful! He launches what seems like the dead bodies of ppl out of his guns and that fuking hurts oh my go!"

"How does people get a hold of that sort of thing I will never no. Humans are disgust" Carl Sagan said

"WTGF KARL WHERE DFID YOU COME FROM I DIDN"T EVEN C IN YOU THE HOUSE WHY YOU HERE AND NOT HOUSE YES WHERE IS PEOPLE TO PROTECT DA HOUSE WHY DID U FOLOW" uis I said to

"lol idunno!" Said Carl Subaru.

"oh k then let us continue then to find what we need to then!" and then we all decided to go on to continue to find what we needed to find so that we could continue to find the stuff that we needed to find to find the stuff we needed to find.

We ended up at a place dat looked like a truck station but had petagrams and stan all over da place and giant pink shirtless guys who launched gross gay looking snout at us eww !

"Don't worry bout dis, we got thiese crackers, we've delt with them before." Slowbeif and DS-Betus said as they charged their NAVIguns (so trhey call it what da fuck) as soon as the the guns changed theywer was a resounding cry of "waht da heck" and bleuw balls started hitting the pnik shitless guys.

"wtf this hurts we need to stop dem now in order to win da battle brother it is time for us to fusion ha to save da world from da syains"

"k brother" shirtless pink thing said

and then they did the fucintion dance in order to becaome uber shiftles pink guy

TO BE CONTINUES

END OF CHAPTER 9


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: A Limbo In Inferno

AN: Soz I m surprised dat pepel have honestly ben asking me to make new chapters becaseu I thoguht it was getting kind of means and I was running out of ideas to type things and I was aksing my mom and stuff 4 suggestion and she looked at me and laughed and said "Try 2 b less gay and then maybe I will help you, u r not my daughta and then itr mades me very very sad and I tried hardered to prove my mom wrong because she is a bich! Neways back 2 da sotryu because I'm pretty sure that's wat you came for and not to hear me babther so I am sry!

So the pink shirtless guys did the fusion ha dance from the dragonballz show and then they... becaume very very loud and they would not stop talking for a breath oh my god

"MY NAME IS CORNSHAQ AND I AM THE SECOND IN COMMAND OF THIS PART OF HELL AND THAT IS SECOND OUT OF TEN BECAUSE TNE MINUTES IS THE YOUTUBE LIMIT SO I AM PRETTY SURE THERE IS NO 10 MORE THAN TEN MINUTES OF HELL BUT I AM SURE THERE IS MORE THAN 10 LEVELS BECAUSE MY FAVORITE GAME SUPER MAYIOR 2 HAS MORE THAN 2 LEVELS AND I HAVE PLAYED IT ALTO AND I PLAY IT WLEEEE HEHEHEHEEEHEHEHEEUIHUIFHUIOW FHIHROIOWHRIHRIHWORHIORHW* NO MOM I WILL NOT PUT AWAY THE GAMEBOY I AM DOING A LETS MARIO FOR THE YOTUEB YOU JSUT TRY TO STOP ME" and den he started glowing blue

"I FUCKING KNEW THIS CRACKER WASN"T DEAD JESUS DICK OMG! "- D-betus yelled with lung out of mouth angr. "We need to form the Megazord in order to stop him dia-kin" "YOU MEAN THE NAVIGATRBOT!?" "YES THATS WHAT I MEAN YOU DUMB IDIOT BAKA!"

"lol k then" D-beetus responded. "I just have to get da keys out for it" which 4 some reaosn was a picture of Bill Clinton's face (omg he was so old and perverted it was so grody fucking ew!)!)))!)!)!) and den slowbif toko out a brisket of his favorite game Ultimate Painbrawl 10 revenge of da posters and they said "wif ur powers combined, I am capzaisn plant!" and then Captain Planet showed up and ran over Garrus with the Navigatrbot and was all like "Sorry guys I forgot to wash the robot it's kind of old and dirty and gay (like one directions LOL) and then you started to hear the pokemon them son play as they got into the Navigatrbot to fight Cornsnack.

"F00l5 u cann40t befeat me I am the great conrshaq I am the master of the Shaq school of kung foo!" Yelled Carnsmack and himself.

"Bring it bitch we have tken u on before and we know how u work ho u going down like a biazznitch on my geneigentals negrO!" said D-betsu (Wow I didn't know you could be that raisin. It si crazi in this day and age"

"Well look out for my birdo jutsu!" Cornshqad yelled out and then a bird dinosore thing launched out and was all like "rawr I am a dinosaur things and now I launch eggs at you and you're kind of ded now kid lol" and it lauched egg at the Navigatrbot and the N-bot responses with "is dis a waky new directions style or wut, 4/.10!" and then it launched a laser at CornSmack's face that cause him to go to fire and be all like "ow I am fire help why am I fire fire burns my skin plz someone help meehhhhhHHH!H!H!H!"

"dbetsu we go him I think he's going to die yey!" said slotbatf. "You know what they say sweetleaf, it ain't over until we go to a wal-mart subway and get us one of those really tasty ass chiken sandwichsies dsadsafaf" and then D-betus crashed and has to be restarted because we find out he was a computer all along omg! "so we have to go find this AM guy because he probably knows how to fix it" I dont kthink we should trust him though he sounds kind ify " Swag-o the Scendemon said. We would have to get through something called a Cibderdemon anyways, and he is like, so ultimate posr it's kind of sickening really, he wears American Egaheel and it's like "ergmagerd gauy" for realizeies. So now what do we do since we just killed hel demon? We go to Hell- 7-11 and we get some Hellslupries to get because we are hellthirsty LOL "Hello welcome to hell seven eleven can I get you some hell hotdogs and we were all like ok sur e and then we got some hellhotdogs but then we kind of forgot dat d-betus was dying and pukign blakc stuff all over the floor and speaking in gay laingauges and slowbeef was all like "oh that's right we have to hospital get him there b4 man die because dat would be kinda bad/? but I don't know if there is any hospitals in hell so I guess we will have to find out next time on the a new episodes of dragonc balls zz

I mena whatever the fuck this is

END OF CHAPTER 10


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Decent to a Hospital.

So, as we re-assimilated and reorganized our thoughts about our current unfavorable situation, we had almost forgotten that our compatriot, "The Artist Formerly Known As D-beetus", still like in a state of perpetual coma. "My friends, we do need to find our friend here a place of recovery and rehabilitation, unless he may prematurely expire against our wishes and desires." I hastily stated to our adventuring party. "That would be... how you say... quite the poser thing to do." "Well, I, for one, would find it most disadvantageous to see him in a non functioning state. It is quite undesirable, yes." "Well, then, I feel that we believe that we should honestly get to a hospital or something quite quickly because he does expire. I have grown to enjoy this man as well, by Jove. "Then, let us go to said destination hastily, less his condition worsens." Our party then departed off in order to complete our excursion for our fallen friend.

As we were walking towards the location (The man in the store was kind enough to give us directions for whatever reason, we didn't buy anything from him, truthfully) I looked over to my newly discovered friend Swag-o, and I presented a question to him. "Does something not feel right to you? I feel this has been too easy, we could be unknowingly walking into a trap. I feel an air of tension and unease that I honestly do not care for, don't you?" "Yeah; something doesn't feel quite right. That man was too up-front about his willingness to assist us. Given the hostility of the denizens around this locale, I'm expecting the worst."

"It may be to our advantage to keep our guard up more consistently than usual. I don't want a poser possibly detracting from my kawaii ways, good sir. I have worked too hard on this and I will not have it taken from me, heaven forbid" I responded to him, ending that current conversation.

I then turned to Slowbeef, asking him why his friend D-beetus suddenly ran on batteries and crashed; like he was not a man, but a machination, a computer beyond human capability and comprehension. "He was a past lover of mine. Unfortunately, to both him and myself, misfortune of the highest degree struck us when we were out one night. We were driving home after seeing a spectacular performance of the grand musical "Les Misérables_"_ and to be completely honest, we were both quite intoxicated. Knowing us though, we were too hastily, stubborn and bullheaded to allow someone to drive us home, We did not believe we were to get intoxicated. However, we were also not informed that the theater had an open bar featuring nothing but the finest wines, including a cabaret that has been aged in oak since the 1800's, and it was just completely divine, I must give you the name of it one day, it is fabulous. We had way too many drinks, way more than our bodies could consistently process without the effect of alcohol completely taking us over and impairing our senses of logic and self preservation.

We had decided to take our motor-carriage out for a stroll, and... nay. I shall say no more. The memory of his initial passing still grips to my soul like a parasite to a host. I, however, was not to be a man without a love in the world. I had... my ways of bringing him back. I could see... see in his eyes before hand that he was not ready to go. He still held too much love in his heart to die. That is what hurt me the most. However, this is why he is a robot. I cannot imagine a world without him." Slowbeef said with increasing hesitation.

"I cannot say that I relate with your predicament. I guess, in a way, I can help indirectly help you through this, although D-beetus is the most integral link; The final strand that is keeping you from

complete mental extirpation. "Yes, you would be quite correct in that assumption. My being cannot exist fully knowing he is is in a state of incapacitation like this. It kills me. It truly does, sir. So, if we can please progress towards the area. I don't want to see him die. His love is the only thing I have to live for in this cruel world. If he dies... Hell and Earth will seem the same to me. There will be no difference. Neither will be better than the other. My existence will become meaningless and I will only know suffering down to the last neuron in my body. Please. Help me." Slowbeef said with this inhuman agony slogging through his voice like a man trying to walk through mud, or a river... So much pain.

We finally caught a glimpse of the hospital, peeking at us from over the hill like a child hiding in a blanket during a harmless game of Hide-And-Go-Seek. D-beetus was in terrible shape. The kind of suffering I would never wish on any man ever. Carl, as cold and distant as he had seemed as of late, looked at the lifeless body of our friend with a sense of sadness rarely portrayed by him. I could see in his eyes that he had never had to experience that level of pain that Slowbeef was feeling at that moment.

Yet, at that moment, fate had a different plan for us, once again. The bald monstrosity suddenly appeared, and even though he was in an ethereal form, had blocked the entrance to the hospital, an obvious attempt to halt our well-intentioned question. "You think I would have made it this easy to get here? I have planned your progress all along, you fools. I am the one who told the store clerk to sneak in a remote chip into the soda that man was drinking. I had prepared for you heathens a significant time before you had even shown up in my domain. If I break the bond you all share, you will all slowly break down and bend to your most hated desires. Everything has been going as planned by my design, cretins. Say goodbye to whatever hope you had remaining.

And from the sky... a hellish demon fell. A monstrosity of inhuman proportion. It was obvious that this... thing was their last line of defense, a monster only brought out in times of desperation. The endgame. The kill-code. The Alpha and the Omega.

The bald man bellowed "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. MAY I INTRODUCE THE SEALING OF YOUR FATE. THE END OF YOUR JOURNEY. THE CRUSHER OF YOUR DREAMS. THE THING KNOWN ONLY AS THE CYBERDEMON."

"So. We meet again. You will not get away with what you have done to me this time. You're going to feel every nail of suffering you have inflicted onto me, damned Hell-spawn." Swag-o said with contempt beyond humanities' understanding. I have never seen so much hatred in one's eyes before. It horrified me.

END OF CHAPTER 11.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Hel on urth

The cybderdemon was so prep, he was all wearing like Anmeeican EaGLE shirt and those gay subglasees that make u so prep it hurts. He was aslo wearing what the call a codpeace but he doesn't penis so why does he needed a codpece to protect his junk lLFO!

As da bald guy went "hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue I owned you noobs", mr cibderdemon came out was all like 'ur so gasy u probably think tis song is about u you're so gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yy" and we were all like "well dunetne the demon killr is bisexual but the rest of us r bisexual 2 so it only makes sense you fuking intolerant proser prep omg! "dat's it you're all gonna die so hard you have pissed me off so much omg fuking die" said the caberdemon as he launched the faces of some guy named zak and another guy named Jake at us. Omg so grody! So we had to acord the poser missles otherwse we would grow 2 much hari and we would listen to the musics with the guys that go "grhaasdsufuhfudkfdisuhfiuhei ohe48whya8o" and that is just trying too hard because they all have small peni and I don't like small peni I only like big pen because thast is hot! "omg no Karl look out the rocket is going to will strike you pretty sure with the time!" I yelled at Crazl who was learning how to twerk his boty at the moment so we'd be all like "damn gurl omg" "omg that's so gay olo instead of the show dat's so ravin it's called dat's so gay because I am funny internet man like ray william jogson am I correct?" grarus siad 2 me  
"p,g ray wilam jognson is my favorite interet celever it is so kawai so I will agree with u" **my girlz at da club would agre with me!~*** and the the prep cyberdEMMON ended up summoning prepr reinformcements like his friend AM fomr the anime "I have no mouth and I must yell". But AM is supposed to be robot. He was not computr, he was pony. Pony with a hate for humanites because they don't undersatnd the way of pony!

"Hat. Letmme tell u how much hat I have for ppl like u at this mom. If da work hat was wirrten on each eaffer thing thingy of my thingy, each nonangstrom of my dingdog, it would not = one one one one one one one one one billion the amount of hat I have for u at the moemnt of now. Hat. Hat. Hat"

"Oh no guys I think he is serious he looks like an anrgy horse"-said Slowbet

"Is that hit video game like the birds of anger?" I responded back 2 him

"ye"- said Jack Skellington who then died

"rip" we all said because he died

"k guyz we have to stop the AM poni first. He seems to be da biggest thread because he is the perfect combination of computer and horse. Is like a horseputer but more dangerous. You know what they say about horseputer. Don't put it in da shooter."

"wtf was dat" carl said angriet.

I then went into super develin triger mode and my hair turned white like a man In anime

Carl then deiced to tap into his bloodline jetsus and then becamae Lord Snake Sagan, the 43rd most dangerous thing in da world!

Slowbef decided to tap into his bnokie which ended up being a ginat green opopsicle named aafter this guy named da lim popsicle (sounds gay)

we all looked at AM poni and went "General Patreus". "Oh no my one weakeness I cannot fight against that I am now not able to move wtf did u do to me human"

"lol n00b we owned u" I said to Am poni without second thought shoot his face off and then died he is.

"o gfd dammit now dso I have to fight u scene kids by mself?!" mr cyberdimon said to us

"lol yeah you kinda do, elt us dual like truefully wizards, like my girlfriend enofy!" I sed to him

"bring it bitch  
" he said 2 me  
As I started charging up my kahmamhanan I learned from ygui boi in the hit anime beyblade, he charged at me with force of angery. But then... he stoped.

"GO! RUN. DIS IS MY BATTLE!" Swag-o hads gotten bwteen me and the cspyerdemon. He wanted to kik hiz ass!

"omg u gonna die heer bitch I promused my mother and tahter when they were zombie goasts that I would kil u for revnege!" Sawg-o yelled with fierce of anger.

"lol plz u can't take me I would like to c u try!" the cyb said to him

"u have noe seen my true form motherfucker!" swag-o said while forcuses his energy. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAEHEHEHAHEHGHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA " he yelled very mad like "I WILL KILL U LIKE I KILL VICTORAS SECRET MODEL" he screamed into the heaven. When he was done, he had turened from Swag-o the ganghame demon to everyone's favorite visonary rapper, Little Johnathan. But just da head because cakodmeon don't have body you dumdum!

"what ok" he said as he charged towards cyberdemon with chidori ball ready to go

"oh fuk he has lerned chefori? I was not prepared for this omg" he said with scared voices (lol he's going to so get his poses as kicked!) And then it ended up like one of those anime battles with a lot of gay talking and stuff that's unrelated and honestly who listened to that shit oh that's right people with no lives, not kawaii people like me duh lol!

Anyways back to the thingy

He ran into bob the cy with kidori right through his stomach hole eating thing and the cybdermon was all like "lol did that hurt me at all **anime pained sound**" and then the dropped to the ground in a sign of being dead because he got hit hard! What a bitch!

Carl said "wow, that was rly rly easy. That doesn't seem right, but I have a feeling that even though we are doen with the cybedadaom and his firend, I think we have just pised of the wrong peoplen and we're going to probalty have to fight da minons, isnce they will try to kill us to show dominaces sothay can be American's Necks top medoel

"k let's go into ht ehosiptial now" I said to everyone

"k" they said

END OF CHAPTER 12


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Paged Dr. Gay

As I fliped my hair and walked through the hopsital in order to save d-beetus from the curse of die "because dats pretty gay ins't it!?", we walked up 2 the Hellceptionist and said "hello we have dead person here can you plz help him I dont like it when he dies because he is kawaii and not a poser and slorbaft is all like plz save him I love him" I twitched to her sexy. "lol k do u have health insurance from Hell's Farmer's Insurance and I was all "wtf bich no" and then I kicked her goriliy. "ow ok jeez u didn't have to do that u bitch"- she screamed happily at my face b4 I shot her in her goot and then her intestinals fell out and she was all like "oh no not all of dallas" and died. "k gusy we have to go into room 666 da number of the bess to make sure that d-betus gets best care because he doesn't deserve bad care but good care because he is much less of a poster than all ded noobs in this hosptials. I bet they all listen to Lil Wan!

Lol yes "said Swag-o before he kicked the posts out fo room 666 because they were listening to that gay Taylir Sowft dubstep and it hurt his ears (btw he was half lil jon, half cakeodmon at this point so he looked kinda weird so they just jumped out of the window, which I felt want' s the rogjt tjomg to do befcause suicide is not something you doicide but dat is a different story, the story of how I was west philedphia born n raised roung the basketball court spending most of my dazy (wait that is copyright I can't do that omg PETA is going to kill me now wtf. So we fressed up D-betus in non popser clothes because the hell demons can't be able to tell what is people and who is not real patient so we have to make him convincing! We took hiz pabts off (he had a big dingledongle if u no what I mean laidez ;)) and we tok of his shirt where he had an 18 pack and big healthy nipples and chess hair and omg it was so hot he was a real man (or robot) were we worn ghte entire time?!

We put him in the bed 2 rest and made sure that noone saw us do it because that would bloe our cover really reall bad and dat is the last thing we really need right now because that would stop us from saving him and he may dei~

"yo we gotta get dis man in the bed we have to do it so that he can be unsick we gfota finish it up" Carl said so we did and we ended up not making anyone go "!" like in the Mestals Grill game so we did not have to fight them off like my favorite football character Slippy Toad I mean Solid Smacks. Ok so I gotta be a nurse and you have to be doctor dunetee because you are leader man of group swag-o can be dog and slotbierf can be your 5th cousin twice removed ok, ok then we have to do this" and then we walked out of the room notchatily and said "omg the guy in room 666 is leaking we need osmoene to please go in there and help him we can not let him die?"

"oh fuk" I said yelling for doctors to come help me and they dd by runing into the room and trying to stabilize D-betus while I faked a heart attack and died "oh no doctor is dead" they said but they still tried helping debeiates. They actually found out what was wrong with him, he had just not been defragged in a while so they plugged in an external defragger to him and started the process to heal him up, which would take 10 minutes to do so

"lol thx hell posterss!" I sed as I pooped up from the ground and killed the helldoctor with my sword vegkil "oh no u bastard why did you betray me all I was trying to do was help him why would you do this?!" and then he died horribly and bled all over da place and it was gross and horrible and just pure ewwwww womg

"lol he's dead" Carl said smartily and chucked with much happyiness and pride in his work

"carl you didn't even do anything wtf" I poked at him in the face with my voice which made him go "wtf ow why" and then he punched me and then we fought until I hit him with the spriit bomb which made him go "ok never mind I don't feel like fighting you too much because honestly dat kinda hurt really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really reallty babahabadat." and I was all like "u got owned bich lol" and then we made out as victory apology thing (wow u haters are dumb I swear to god) and as we ran out of the hosptial they had summoned the H8rbot because we had just killed posters and they don't like that. The h8rbto come at me blacking the Nicky Mazeige and we were all like "oh shit no we're all going to die" and I yelled "GET BEHIND THE FUKIN WALL OMG DO IT" and they all screamed and dove under the wall while the poser music started killing all the people nearby due to how gay it was (omg) I took out my guns Bobzlebab and Stan and started shotting at the bot, but nothing was happening to it at all! It jst came closr and closr to me and I was beginnign to get worried because nothing was beginning to stop it at all

"guyz I don't think I can stop this yo may want to start running, like NO"- I shooted agresively to the people near to me (which happened to be the kawaii kew of death lol) "U HERD DA MAN WE GOT MOVE NOW" CARL SED WITH VOICE OF MANY MUCH ANGER AND HATRERD AND RUSIHGIN TO DIE NOT BECCAUSE DYING IS NOT GOOD AT ALL. AS THEY BEGAN TO RUN I HEARD A VOICE GO

"Oh, look at this. Someone's made quite a mess in here. Looks like I may have to help clean up, Ebony. Ivory. You ready to help a guy out, perhaps?"

Dis hot as fuk man in a read coat and white hair (wtf is he old) then proceeded to run straight at the h8r bot, running onto its face and kicking off the face of it, and while in mid air, proceded to urn around ands shoot the bot in the face, kiling it!"

"omg wh just gaved our assed!"

"Name's Dante. Professional demon killer. Down here to do a bit... of health inspection." he sed aS HE LOOKED ATR HIS GUN AND SMIRKERD.

"Ur really hot" I said to him

"Well, I'm flattered, but I think you guys should check up on your friend there. I saw him coming in with you guys while I was running recon on the building. He wasn't looking too good when I last saw him."

"ur hot"- I replyed

He then just shoot his head and walked over to D-beetus to check his pulse. "Good for you. He's alive. Kind of sad that you were too entranced by me to check on your friend. I mean, I know I'm a looker, but come on, you haven't even taken me out to dinner."- he chuckelded.

"U seem like a jerk"-Carl sed to Dante.

"Hopefully I can prove to you otherwise. I don't think you guys realize what you have gotten yourselves into. I'm the only one that can truly help you, so if I was you, I'd shut up and listen."

Carl loked at him with eyes of angry but I tolled him that it wasn't worht it and we knead all da help we can get.

"k"- Carl said

We then proceeded to leave the hoserpitals.

END OF CHAPTER 13


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Da Read Queen

As Dante loked at Denete as dey exited the hopsital, Dane said "You remind me of someone. I can't really remember who...I think it's because I went through that same phase as you when I was a kid, I don't know.

"Ohmigodbich do you know what you're talking to? I am the real demon kila!"!" I said at him with much anger and hat in my voice and in my fac. "Kid, you don't really scare me."- Dante looked at him with a highly dismissive look. He then turned around, scoffed and walked off. "Hez a bitch because he dones't know how to respect him da stupid bitch!" Karl said to Dente while licking the outside of his ear.

"omg that's so gay Carl stop it not in public baka"- Danete said to him em bare ass ed. "You know what, I've had it up to here with the blatant disrespect you seem to be paying me here. What's up with you people? I'm just trying to help and you just are trying everything you can to get rid of the man who obviously has the most experience fighting here. What are you trying to pull?"

"Not ur dik that's for sure", sed Carl to Dante

"Alright... that's it." Dante said as he pulled out his sword and looked Carl Sagan straight in the eyes "Looks like I'm going to have to beat some respect into you." "Bring it bitch I can take u", said Carl.

The sky split in twain, glowed an ominous red. No-one understood the effect that this battle would have on the Earth. Little did they know that this fight would summon something beyond their wildest nightmares.

Well I mean within two second Dante had Carl Sagan pinned to da floor and that's really kinda gay cuz I was expecting a better fite but Carl can't fight dat stupid loser,...

"ow get off my face you sun bitch I use this to make out with hoes what da fuk"-carl creeded quite hardly and whined a lot because he's dumb and stupid like that ( don't tell him I said this)

"Maybe you'll learn to keep your mouth shut then." Dante sneeered

And den Swag-o showed up and was all like "Stop dis fighting dat's gay we don't really need to be doing this while we're off fighting posters""""""

"k" we all said

So we walked along the plains of New York and we saw this green man yelling at a car and kicking the car in the face like a dumb fat stupid.

"omg you stupid bitch I paid for 2 hours of parking wtf this is such a ripof" he was yelling.

"helo sir can we help u" said d-betus (He speaks more poperly English since they replaced chip in him to fix his dying problem bcause I'm sure he'd would want thsat because as that sath pentam guy said "dying is gau:

"Yes, actually. I had put in 25 cents for a half hour parking spot, and it's not wanting to accept my money. Would you possibly have a quarter you can spare?"

"WHILE YES I DO HAVE A SPEAR"- Carl said while he chuckled the quarter at green man's face

"He meant spare, dunce."- Dante said as he gave the green man a coin

"WUT IS YOUR NAME I NEED TO KNOW YOUR NAME PLZ TELL ME NAME I AM DYING PELEASE TELL ME AHHHHHH IM DYING PLEASE PLEASE POLEADHIOFAS"- ses slorbef

"Um... how do I say this in a way you may understand... I IZ GAERISH HELSCAMS"- the green man yeled

"Oh wait, I think I heard of you before." daante sed

"Yeah, I'm just screaming like this because I think your friends MAY be a bit... um... not there."- Garrosh said to Dante.

"I've known these guys for five minutes and I don't get them either." Dante scoffed at Garrosh

"SO HOW IS LIFE BEING A BIG GREEN GAYLORD LOLOLOLOLL MAN I JUST ONED YOU SO HARD HOW DO IT FEEL BEING OWNED LIKE THAT"- Darente said to Garoosh.

'What is his problem"-Garnish thought

And then suddenly Richard Simmons came out fo nowhere and punched Garrosh in the fac.

"MY LFIELLONG RIVIAL RICHARD SIMMONS, WE MEET AGIN?!"- he yelled loud

"u ow me money bitch iz time to pay up!"- he shoot anegirerly right after he began to go super syaien 453

They flew up into the ski and began to fight like some gay Japanese anime show cartoon and then Richard Simmons summoed the blue eyes while snoop dogg and stabbed him in the eye with it

"wtf" grashos said because that won't work because that's posters shit and posters shit dones't work against something like a green man god didn't you do your math in high school it's pretty obv duh -P-

So Garrosh charged his spirt bomb and shot him with a AK47 and then Richard Simmons was all like "You stupid fucker, bullets don't work against fitness hahahahhahaa" but then Richard Simmons exploded whoops whoe is going to clean that up I sure am not because that is a lot of blood and whoe wants to touch richard simmon skin he's so grody ewwwww Hahahah you think you have defeat me but I will come back to get revenge Richard simmons don't die easy like a bitch u think he is lol you're so dumb I will come back and punc your mother in the face and she will wtdf boom like kenshiro man from big man anime

(ok what)

And with Richard Simmons defeeted, they go to the sweltering land of Rushia in order to fight the big boss man of Richard Simmons, the one only known as Fre Wily.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15- Da Final Countdown (Part 1 of 243243)

"guis I heard a bunch of bad things about this fre wiy guy. He sounds like a big gay fagot and I think he sucks the large phallus and I don't think phallus is anything to mess with" Cary Seogan said to da kawaii crew that listened using their faces and the holes in their faces that use to pick up sound

"He may like phallus, but I like phallus more than than him! I like the penis in my bumbum it feels so so so good baby!" dente sed.

"Dude, what the fuck." Garrosh Hellscream said. "omg stfu you fatkill I'll fuking kill you you slutdong and there is nothing you can do about it if you say one more word you big gay fstupid" said d-betus very very very very very angry at Garrosh

"Dude wtf language" sed swag-o the senedemon of death. "You aren't my mother fuck you with big penis you stupid cherry thing do you really really really really want to fuck with me I don't think you want to fuck with me because I will kill ur craqcker ass and you will be fcuking dead just like your parents who are dead because I killed them to death and therefore they aren't alive anymore, you stupid fucking postet!"- yelled D-betus with much very anger.

"dude, wtf language" sed Billoriely

"oh okay sorry"- said D-betus

"So, alright... um,,, quick question. When are we going to stop with these increasingly stupid shenanigans and actually get something done around here? I'm really starting to wonder why I even bothered showing up here, if all we're going to do is butcher the English language.", Dante said with quite a bit of impatience in his voice, further accentuated by him tapping his foot on the hard ground, rapidly to the point where it almost sounded like a small train going over tiny little tracks.

"Jesus fuk dente shut up oh my god you're such a poster I swear to god it kills me how fucking gay u always r trying to talk about pizzza and girls and demons and parties and all this gay shit and I swear to god I will take this bananaaannana and shove it up your recktum until you go "oh by this doens feel good" and then you blow UP BECAUSE I FUCKING h8 U HAGRID

Sed Dente

"When was Hagrid every a part of this? Who even is Hagrid? What are you even talking about? God, you are a confusing individual, I really don't think I get any of you or what you're all doing at all. Please help me understand you people" Garrosh said, just totally, utterly confused in this whole situation. Can you really blame him though? Be completely honest. I'm sure, even I, as the author, am starting to forget what this whole thing is about. I mean it's like

I'm a sane guy and all that, but what the fuck is all this? Why did I make this? What am I proving? Who am I impressing? What will this do= STFU BIG GAY DONG

lol sorry guys

"You didn't see Hairgad walk in to the walmart to get some candy you fagot how did you miss him? He is a big hair man that goes "ur wizard har" all the time and somehow you miss him like omg that, I don't get that all, please explain that to me

"Oh yeah, now I think I remember that. Odd. Didn't he go into that porn shop at that one time?

"wtf why were you watching where he was going, r u gay for hagrid, are you gaygrid omg why that's so stupid" slowbaf said and then

From the cracks of the battle previous, a massive beast began to reveal itself, letting out a cry that would pierce through the cracks of space and time itself, a leviathan of untold dimensional might. It was not happy, it actually seemed like It wanted to seek revenge for some sort of past transgression. Little did they know, that this was Richard Simmons boss, and secret lover, Free Willy. His world was taken from him, and he wanted it paid back in blood.

"holy shit is that a giant fiash it looks angry how is it not water fish wtf this isn't how it works this as poser as Nicky Majahn"-said swag-o

"I don't think you realize the hell I'm going to unleash upon you, peon. If you wanted to get my attention, that is the one surefire way to get it. I only find it fair to tell you though, that I will not let you leave alive, you piece of shit. Richard Simmons made me feel more like a real woman than anything else, and his love is priceless. I will make your bloodline contain nothing but suffering and agony from here on out, you swine. Prepare to die." Free will then roared, spun around in a complete 180 and started thrashing about in an rage filled attempt to smash Dente and his compatriots to bits.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? GET OUT OF THE WAY, HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU, MOVE, MOVE!" Dante said as he ran in front of the shocked Dente, clueless on how to avoid the giant whale's tale about to move at him with the rage of a man's love taken from him.

It was too late. Dante, in one fell swoop, was taken down, broken. Admitting defeat, he told Dente that him and the rest of the crew would have to defeat Free Willy in order to find the way to the castle of him brother Vergil.

"I may not like you all that much, but you're just crazy enough to get this party started.." Dante wheezed while he held onto his last strands of life remaining.

"OH MY GOD YOU FAGOT ILL KILL U U AR SO FUCKING DEAD I WILL KLILL YOU AND YOUR MOTHER OMG U FUCKING POSER!" dente yelled with many anger

He had enough of deatt and he was rdy to start stopping it


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: The Final Retribution.

Dente stored at the whale with mch more angr than he was used to. He didn't love Dante, but he was still part of the grup, u know? You don't kill someone that's in a cliquie, "that's just gay". "Okay guys, I have a feeling he's going to have a lot of minion with him. A warrior of his power wouldn't leave himself vulnerable like this, it's illogical. Keep your eyes open" Garrosh grumbled with anger. "smh u stupid poster I don't think we have to worry about that, we hae like 65 of us and 2 of him, We will crunch him like corn popz!" swag-o reprorted. "fukin right we will" Carl said to Swag-o the demon of screne "We will kill him good and make him die good because he will pay for what he did!" "Let us bring down the hammer of revenge down upon this oversized fish", Garrosh snarled.

"Pitiful humans. You think you can take me? Everything you've gone up against? I'm the reason it happened. I am the reason D-betus almost died, I am the reason you had to go through Hell to save him. All the people that you've met along the way? All pawns in my game. This was all planned out, and I know exactly how this stage show is going to end. You're all going to be exiting stage right. Forcefully."

"You may have expected die, but did you expect dis?!"- Dente said as he started to glow really really really really red

"Oh fuk is that the Demon Transgression Jutsu"- slowbef said in terms of fear.  
"Omg I think so" Bill o Riley said before he was hit by a car again because he's a gay stupid conservative butt and he likes men duh obviously.

As the rock the dragon guy showed up and started singing the "dragon dragon rock the dragon AHHHHH" song, Dente started walking up to the whale, flashing all these really gay and stupid colors that weren't black and red, which should be the only colors allowed in existence because they're deep and meaningful and they really represent my pain and dishdan for society like omg society is so fucking stupid like for real

"What?! I wasn't exepcting this at all! Why did none of my spies tell me this? How was I not prepared for this? This is insane! How can I handle this? I never thought I'd utter these words again, but... My minions! Come to me!

And out of the cracks of Hell, came out Oprah, Bill O Riley, Dr Phil, and Walter Conkite.

Carl Sagan, D-betus, Slowbeef killed them.

Dante in his Demon Transgression form fused with Garrosh and Swag-o and... became a giant robot in the likeness of Will Smith.

"Stupid fukr I will own ur ass bring it your stupid large fish btch" said dente

As the Will-Smith-O-Tron wound up its turrets ready to strike, Free Willy engaged his Zenbotsu or whatever the fuck it was call and became an extremely muscular whale.

"Um. Okay." Garrosh said, utterly confused.

"YO NIGGA IM ABOUT TO CAP YOUR ASS DEAD" said the giant whale

"dat's racists" said the Will-Smith-O-Tron.

As dey spiraled throught the air like that hit anime Clorox, they hit each other a lot and went "wow why the fuck did you hit me and made noises like horses because I dont' fucking no my mom said to put horses in because she's a brony and there has to be horses in literally everything and I mean everything so fuck you shut up okay I really do hate you all okay really shut up STOP ASKING ME OKAY

The miniguns sprouted out of the wrists of the Will Smith O Tron and started unleashing lead-based hell upon his body. Sadly, however, it proved to be ineffective.

"You think I was ill prepared for this?!" Free Willy then laughed and shook his head.

"I am of a higher plane, pitiful weapons won't stop me, pathetic human. I now own your existance, and guess what? I don't want it anymore."

As he attempted to punch the Will Smith bot... something happened.

"PASTA POWER" denete yelelldededse. And then he stabed him through da stomach.

"How... how did you know my weak spot?" Free Willy gasped in shock

"cuz ur gay lol"- Dente said as he threw his dead body aside and it blew up in a giant "wow he's so gay"

k let's go to Vergil's tower I hacked his brain and now we can go there said carl

And then they found the seven dragonballs and revived Dante before they headed off to the tower.

THE END

Authors Note

Oh man why am I doing this


End file.
